Kgothasso Motshele is happy with how she will spend Valentine’s Day. Image provided by Kgothasso
Kgothatso Motshele has canceled Valentine’s Day plans that other people really want to have – myself included.
Having a date on Feb. 14 sounds incredible, but she decided to cancel because the idea didn’t excite her and she felt like her energy was drained.
In a conversation with her, we soon discover that the decision not to play Lovey Dovey comes from a place of unlearning, self-care, self-love, peace, and healing.
And we are all for it!
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Let us add that she is a hopeless romantic. She tells W24, “I’m very nerdy, so I like to celebrate occasions and create an occasion out of nothing. For that reason, I celebrate Valentine’s Day.
“However, I don’t reserve the day just for romantic love. Even when I was in a relationship, I asked friends to be my Valentine and bought presents for a colleague. I will always jump on the occasion to love on someone else. I love Valentine’s Day for that.”
Kgothasso Motshele’s decision to stay is a self-affirmation. Picture provided
Kgothoso canceling his day had little to do with the fact that it was Valentine’s Day.
“I had plans with someone I was casually dating, and we agreed to spend the day together because we’re both single. I felt like I’d rather just rest and hang out alone rather than going on a date,” she says.
Admitting that she didn’t want to go on a date was easy, but deciding to honor that feeling was harder. What was even worse was having to disappoint someone else. But it had to be done because it is part of his healing and his honor.
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“Putting myself first is a recent thing that I’ve been trying. I think I’ve only been successful in the last couple of years or so. I have to be the first to validate and honor my feelings before I can expect someone else cares. In therapy, I only learn to do things that I have the capacity for,” she says.
Have you ever heard people talk about their deal-breakers? Mental health is a priority in many relationships. “I can’t date someone who isn’t interested in my mental health,” someone posted on Instagram the other day.
Nobody wants to feel invisible, unheard and misunderstood, especially in a relationship.
“Luckily, my date and I talk a lot about our mental health journeys, and when I explained the reasons for my cancellation, she was disappointed but also proud of me. We’ve rescheduled, so we’ll still be able to hang out “, she tells us.
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Kgothasso just got out of a five-year relationship where she was engaged. She’s in no rush to get into a relationship just for fun.
She says, “I’m still figuring it out. I want to date someone and open myself up to new ways of experiencing love. I have a lot to unlearn. I want to give myself as long as I have. need to figure out what good love looks and feels like to me it’s also not a priority for me at the moment but i will collect the epiphanies and reflect on myself as i go .
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So what is Kgothatso doing today?
“I’m going to cook meals for the week (I love to cook), listen to music and drink wine. I’m thinking of having a solo date with candles, strings and toys and doing some nudes, but we let’s see. If not, more wine and series, ”she adds.
I am convinced that self-love is indeed the best love. She just passed off this day alone as a romantic scene. Putting himself forward has enriched his experiences and improved the way Kgothasso presents himself to others as well. “I’m not as anxious and exhausted from overexerting myself when I know I don’t have the ability to do certain things,” she adds.
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