If those pesky ads are to be believed, you should spend your Valentine’s Day with your partner in one arm and Notebook in the other.
But, if you’re single, bitter, unromantic, or all of the above, we’re here to help.
We’ve put together a list of the 10 films that will justify the absence of any warm fuzzy feeling you might have.
These are the best anti-Valentine’s Day movies – the movies to watch when love is the last thing on your mind.
The best anti-Valentine movies
1. (500 days of summer
Despite the trappings of hipster twee, this 2009 offering is actually neither rom nor com. It’s a surprisingly painful look at unrequited love through the eyes of Joseph Gordon Levitt’s amorous lead. Who can blame him for ignoring all the signs and desperately trying to get Zooey Deschanel to love him back? She is one of the founding members of Manic Leprechaun Dream Girl together. She is made to bring men down. Skipping the final slap scene (look, he met a girl called Autumn!) is a bitter pill.
2. The War of the Roses
Anyone who watched this dark comedy in their formative years will likely have grown up with a rather distorted view of marriage. Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner happily tore their Romanticize the stone chemistry with this darkly funny look at a divorcing couple fighting to the death over who will get their house. Meaner than most contemporary comedies, it crescendos to a cynically violent climax. Fear of marriage? We?
3. Fatal attraction
While there is surely a counter-argument for this one as it suggests that cheating will only ever lead to graphic violence, Fatal attraction is also a terrifying look at what might be hiding behind a seemingly normal face. Michael Douglas learned to keep it in his pants the hard way when Glenn Close turned his life upside down in this ’80s classic. Also makes a strong case for asking all potential dates about their take on cuddly little bunnies.
4. Marriage story
Noah Baumbach’s finest film is a heartbreaking look at the breakdown of a marriage – one that has a child caught in the crossfire. You never really know why the marriage failed, but the cracks are glimpsed all along. When the film turns into chilly courtroom drama, it’s a devastating watch.
5. Revolutionary Road
Anyone fooled into thinking this could be a dream Titanic reunion will see their hopes dashed by this uncompromising drama. Kate and Leo star as a couple whose lofty ambitions are worn down by suburban life. As they realize this is all they will ever have, they begin to turn on each other. Helping to confound the pessimistic view of marriage, all of the film’s surrounding couples are also quietly falling apart. It’s also a great excuse to never leave town.
This dark, uncompromising drama introduces us to a character who has never celebrated Valentine’s Day and probably never will. Unable to form any kind of emotional attachment with women, Michael Fassbender’s protagonist focuses on sex, sex, and on the weekends, a little sex. Presenting the idea that some people have such damaging childhoods that future relationships seem impossible, it’s a cold alternative to the Hollywood mantra that everyone has a happy ending.
7. Kramer versus Kramer
In case you don’t know, divorce is not easy and unlike The War of the Roses, it’s not that funny either. Kramer Vs Kramer gave us a more measured and heartbreaking look at what happens when a parent leaves. Dustin Hoffman picks up the pieces when Meryl Streep cuts herself in this depressing Oscar-winning flick. She comes back and that, but that hardly makes for a happy ending. One of the first movies to deal with a single dad, it was a major 70s drama. Best not to watch it if you’re planning on starting a family anytime soon.
8. blue valentine
What could be more painful than seeing a married couple fall apart? Having it cruelly juxtaposed with how they came together. It’s the bittersweet conceit at the heart of this brilliantly played downer. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams are the hipster couple who just can’t stay together in this Oscar-nominated indie that avoids portraying either party as “the bad guy,” which makes it all that much harder. to support.
This sharp drama follows the love lives of four flawed Londoners whose attractive exteriors belie a set of coal-like hearts. They take turns lying and cheating to get in and out of each other’s bed, leaving you wondering why anyone would want to attempt a relationship in the first place. Julia Roberts and Clive Owen’s completely NSFW argument is the high/low point. Reminds you here. With the volume turned down.
ten. body heat
The movie that proves that when something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Oh and that’s probably going to get you in a lot of trouble. Naive lawyer William Hurt finds himself suitably intrigued by Kathleen Turner’s raspy-voiced femme fatale and before you can say “they found love in a hopeless place” her husband is dead, he’s in prison and she is on vacation. This is a depressing lesson for all of us. To stay. In. Your. League.